I’m probably too close to this


As you know, P.O’s mother passed away two months ago, and he had quite obviously been having a hard time with it.

So, not a week after P.O had to miss a fan meeting, some incredibly sensitive soul started a Twitter account called, “Block B Comeback?” And they just Tweet the word “No!” to you every–well, right now it looks like they’re on an every-four-hours schedule–until Block B gets off their fucking dumb lazy asses and gives you, The Center of the Universe, exactly what you want!!!


OK–here’s why I REALLY don’t like this:

I have written two novels. They are part of a planned series of four novels.

But hey, the second novel came out in 2012–where’s the third and fourth book?

Do you want to know the answer? Are you sure? It’s really depressing!

My father died in 2009. My brother died (of a heart attack suffered while biking home from the gym) in 2013. In-between those two years, we discovered that my mother is suffering from memory loss and a number of cognitive problems related to aging (needless to say, these problems are not getting better and will never improve).

In addition to the obvious emotional trauma that one suffers when one’s immediate family is rapidly reduced from five members to two-and-half, the removal of three responsible adults from my family has created quite a burden on me. Why? Because my family had some pretty complicated financial affairs going on, and the people who were in charge of them are all either dead or no longer capable.

So, after we had a few expensive but highly educational interactions with some of the less-ethical businesspeople out there, I am now in charge. (My calling card: “I May Not Know What I’m Doing, But At Least I Don’t Steal.”)

I have been up-front about all this on my writing blog. I’m still writing, pretty much for the reasons I’ve always written–I’ll seriously go batshit if all I do for the rest of my life is talk to lawyers about what should go into Exhibit A-1 of that contract agreement. But of course I’m not as productive as I used to be.

For the most part I have been spared nagging from fans who are just going to diiiieeeee (from a heart attack while biking home from the gym?) if they don’t get my next book. Now.

But I’m not always spared.

It is very, very hard for me when I get a message from a fan asking when my next book is coming out. It puts me in a very difficult situation, because I don’t want to unload on a fan (can’t you read my fucking blog? don’t you have any real problems?), but I also don’t like to talk about this horrible period in my life and how it’s affected me. Plus, I’m not an idiot–if I simply tell the truth, it will seem like a rebuke.

So I tell them that there have been some very depressing family circumstances but that I am still planning to finish the series, and I thank them for their interest in my books. I point them to my Web site.

And I hope that they’ll still be around when the next book comes out–but if they’re not, that’s just the way things have to be. Option B for me is “sit around and watch while your family’s money gets stolen,” and I’ve already done that.

So this is why I don’t like it when people decide to ride someone when they don’t know what’s going on, and I really don’t like it when people know full fucking well what’s going on, but decide to be self-absorbed shitbirds anyway. Stuff like setting up a “Block B Comeback?” Twitter account might seem harmless enough, but it’s just feeding that part of fans’ minds that believes that getting the next [comeback, book, episode] of something they like is the most important thing on the entire fucking planet.

It is not. (Honestly, it makes me want to set up a “Is P.O’s mom still dead?” Twitter account that Tweets the word “Yes!” every fucking four hours.) I certainly realize that entertainment can be vital to keeping you sane when your life is going to shit. But even so, you have to have a sense of proportion: If your worst problem is that you might have to wait a little while for something you really enjoy, you are very fortunate indeed.


11 responses »

  1. This shit is exactly the kind of thing that triggers me. It’s one of the reasons I’ve avoided sns like Twitter because if I had an account I’d probably be over there right now saying things I shouldn’t a la prez cheeto. Ever since 7 Seasons made the announcement I’ve only been hoping P.O is well & will be able to work through things in his own time. Afaic this Twitter troll is no sort of “fan” at all,to quote one netizen to another on Nb,”Go find your life”…..

    I can empathize w/you as far as having the family dynamic shift. I’m going through this w/my own parents for the last 1.4 yrs.The amount of time & energy elder care takes up can be staggering. The situation is complicated & exacerbated by the fact they are living apart & my father has been a raging asshole all his life. There’s never enough time in a day,never enough energy to get everything done & I keep putting off my own needs for theirs. It’s like having someone drop off a couple of very old babies on your doorstep….If someone asked me why I haven’t gotten something done yet I’d probably not give such a kind answer. Believe me I know when you’re spinning plates like this all it takes is one little wobble to knock things out of whack (like the tree that came down during a wind storm last week & blocked my driveway for a couple days til I got someone in to cut it up),then you’ve got to try to get it all moving in the right direction again. The struggle is real…

    • It just seems easy for people to lose sight of the fact that there are actual human beings involved in the creation of the entertainment they consume. REALLY, REALLY easy.

      Ugh, the first time I had to send my mother back to her room to change her clothes because she wasn’t dressed appropriately…. It’s VERY stressful. And my dad was very much of an Alpha Male, so when he was having serious health problems, he and my mom HID them from us (and he managed to hide some of them from her as well–no weakness!).

      It is like having children, but children who would literally rather die than listen to you or do anything you say. After the fiasco with my dad, I’ve learned to embrace sneakiness with my mom–she’ll do it if someone who isn’t her kid tells her to, so I go behind her back all the time to get other people to tell her to do it. (She’s in an elder-care facility now, so that helps–the staff is very accustomed to these kinds of problems.) I’ve also taken a page from the flim-flam artists who used to rip her off, and I send fresh flowers and little gifts to her just like they did. Like my therapist says, with elderly & difficult parents it’s often a matter of figuring out how to speak to them in a language they can understand. (And definitely tap into any social workers or counselors you can who deal with the elderly–they can help with a lot of the tactics.) So, when we talked my mom into moving into a facility, we presented it to her as something that would be helpful were she incapacitated in the future, as opposed to something she probably should have done a few years before.

      • No,I haven’t seen it. I tend to get around to most movies late or not at all. I just finally saw Chappie the other night & was amazed to see Die Antwoord are in it….had I known that I’d have made a point to watch sooner…

        You’re not kidding parents would rather die than listen. My mother had major surgery back in Oct. & made up her mind she was coming to live w/me because my father causes her too much stress. Probably the best move but now the stress is mine,I don’t care for having my living space intruded upon & I feel like I’m 18 again,stuck in the DMZ between two warring factions. Meanwhile,the father who spent 25 years not talking to me,who said “I don’t need any one”,doesn’t want to deal w/anyone But me…I’m at the point where I figure we’ve come full circle & whatever happens,happens. He won’t consider a nursing facility/retirement home,I don’t really blame him but if that’s the option he chose he can’t expect me to be wait staff,especially when I’m a 40 min. drive away..The only good thing is that they both are still pretty sharp mentally,physically is more of a challenge & emotionally they have gotten more childish.

        I think dealing w/all this is what helped attach me to Block B. I had just found them a couple weeks before my mom was rushed to the hospital & had to have surgery. For nearly a month I was running between the hospital & my house & their house constantly. Then at night to unwind I’d stay up watching things like Match Up Return & laugh so hard I’d cry. They’ll never know how cathartic that was,they truly were the right thing at the right time!

        Also – Zico had to deny he’s dating Sulli ?? YG entertainment just denied GD is dating her in a statement that actually made me guffaw out loud. I was hoping the GD one is true – the number of netz who would immolate themselves online would be glorious to behold…

        • We’re like, kind of living parallel lives here? My brother died the month after I discovered Block B. Being able to go into another room, put on the earphones, and watch them do silly things was a real life-saver….

          The FOCUS on Sulli–oh my God. I mean, if you’re going to form an attachment to a K-Pop star like we did, at least let it be a positive thing!

          • I’d love to know if she’s been intentionally trolling people w/her IG account or if the torch & pitchfork crowd just want to get bent out of shape,because if she Is…she’s Legend. The thing is now no one is paying attention to the cf’s & photo shoots for fashion mags she does,all they want is the drama. I’m finding the pix released by Dispatch of her w/the blurred face so called “Zico” figure down right hilarious. #1 there’s no tattoo on the guys left arm, #2 the guy doesn’t look tall enough,Sulli isn’t wearing heels #3 I hope Zico would at least Try to dress a bit better for a supposed “date” even if it’s casual…I don’t think Dispatch claimed it was him,just some rando said, Durrr…that look like Zico…& a hew & cry went up.

            It makes me wonder how many other people found Block B during a rough spell? I always have a weak spot for guys who make me laugh!

            • Yeah, I hope they amuse her or that she doesn’t pay them any mind. Because dear God, they are pathetic!

              Maybe it’s just a sign that I spend too much time looking at pictures of Zico, but I also thought that that guy really obviously wasn’t him. There’s the shortness and lack of tattoos, but he’s also much bulkier–Zico’s a string bean! But I think the funniest part of Zico’s denial was the implied “I’d never dress like that!” Priorities, people!

              • lol,We both must be looking at too many pictures because my very first thought when I saw them was “That’s not Zico’s arm.”….not just because lack of tattoos,the arm just looks too short. But I like the creative imagination of the person who said this is just a cover up for the secret GD-Zico relationship.if the GD-Seungri shippers see that there’s going to be a meltdown…

  2. Pingback: Since it appears to be mental-health awareness week in K-Pop…. | My Other Blog

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