Category Archives: Hit the Stage

I’m going to translate some netizen comments!

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(I do feel like it would be better for me and my blood pressure if I stopped following this story, but I guess I feel kind of obligated at this point. Or maybe I’ve just developed a new bad habit?)

Zico appeared on Radio Star and talked about his relationship with Seolhyun–full translation here. (This time the story was a big deal in the Korean K-Pop press, by the way–it’s so much easier to cover something when all you have to do is turn on the television, right?)

NetizenBuzz translated the hate from Korean to English, which is her job (ETA: if you want to read non-hate K-netz comments and remind yourself that not everyone is horrid, look here), but I figured I should perform a further service by translating it once again from Hater English into Non-Crazy Person English. This way you can enjoy the full profundity of their high-minded thoughts. Here goes!

Article: ‘Radio Star’ Zico, “I took a liking to Seolhyun without reason, I didn’t play hard to get with her” confession

Source: Naver

1. [+5,494, -120] SEOLHYUN IS A WHORE!!!

2. [+4,649, -234] ZICO IS A CAD!!! WHO NEVER PICKED UP SEOLHYUN!!! WHO IS A WHORE!!!

[T/N: Do you realize that there is an entire K-netz “analysis” of their relationship–which, naturally, is super-easy to do when you don’t know either person–that claims that Zico never, ever picked Seolhyun up?

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I mean, it would be dumb anyway to attempt to analyze a relationship based on what photos a media outlet chose to make public, but you know: THERE HE IS. PICKING HER UP. IN A CAR.

Not sure why that matters so much to people, but anyway….]

3. [+3,979, -113] I’m going to pretend that the double standard never came up because ZICO IS A CAD!!!

4. [+3,737, -249] ZICO IS A CAD!!!

5. [+650, -34] I’m having trouble living vicariously through these celebrities because ZICO IS A CAD!!!

6. [+615, -24] SEOLHYUN IS A WHORE!!!

7. [+595, -57] ZICO IS A CAD!!! WHO NEVER PICKED UP SEOLHYUN!!! WHO IS A WHORE!!!

8. [+428, -17] I’m going to pretend that Zico didn’t confirm the relationship because ZICO IS A CAD!!!

9. [+477, -34] The relationship won’t last because SEOLHYUN IS A WHORE!!!

[T/N: I find the predictions that the relationship won’t last to be rather calculating. The thing is, most relationships don’t last–be they celebrity relationships or no–so if you predict that a relationship won’t last, you’re likely to be right.

But if you say that the relationship won’t last because of X, and then the couple breaks up–well, you haven’t actually proved that the break-up was caused by X. You are, however, setting yourself up to be a smug asshole who claims to know everything about the private lives of a bunch of complete strangers–you know, because you were “right” that one time.]

10. [+367, -11] ZICO IS A CAD!!!

11. [+386, -21] SEOLHYUN IS A WHORE!!! And it’s Zico’s fault that I’m calling her that, because ZICO IS A CAD!!!

12. [+319, -12] ZICO IS A CAD!!!

13. [+369, -33] SEOLHYUN IS A WHORE!!!

14. [+366, -44] ZICO IS A CAD!!! AND SEOLHYUN IS A WHORE!!!

15. [+339, -35] ZICO IS A CAD!!!

Source: Nate

1. [+345, -17] I’m going to pretend that Zico didn’t confirm the relationship because ZICO IS A CAD!!!

2. [+257, -17] ZICO IS A CAD!!!

3. [+197, -10] ZICO IS A CAD!!! AND SEOLHYUN IS A STUPID WHORE!!!

4. [+30, -3] I’m going to pretend that Zico didn’t confirm the relationship because ZICO IS A CAD!!!

5. [+28, -0] ZICO IS A CAD!!!

6. [+21, -4] My father’s 55 and has a creepy obsession with a woman who is 30+ years younger than he is. I post about this online because I am too stupid to realize who this reflects badly on.

7. [+18, -0] ZICO IS A CAD!!!

8. [+13, -4] SEOLHYUN IS A WHORE!!!

ETA: And you know, if you’re feeling WAY too aggravated, watch Ten here doing an amazing job on Hit the Stage. A much-needed reminder for me today of why I bother with the bullshit.

Interesting, but not shocking

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An eagle-eyed Pann poster (I guess they’re not all crazy) noticed that Ten’s initial performance for Hit the Stage was edited together from at least two different performances.

And they’re right: His choker and bracelet appear and disappear during the performance, especially during the backbends. (The mist isn’t consistent, either.)

see it

Now you see it…

Screen Shot 2016-08-15 at 7.03.24 PM

now you don’t.

I’m going to hazard from the audience reaction that Ten pulled the moves off just fine during the performance, and I’d guess from the camera angles that Hit the Stage reshot the dance because they didn’t get close shots of his backbends during the original performance. (I knew a guy in college who wound up on a reality show and wrote about it–he said they had to go through doorways five or six times every fucking time so the show could get all the necessary shots.)

But this should serve as yet another reminder that reality television is NOT reality. What you are seeing on the screen could very well be quite different from what the audience saw in the studio.

Now THIS is a TEASER

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It’s not like MNet is above creating extremely misleading teasers, but this one does look really juicy:

Interviewer: Have you ever been hurt by love?

Caption: Have you experienced love?

Announcer: Today’s topic: THIS LOVE.

Woman’s voice: Warm

Man’s voice: Bouncy

Women’s voices: Cute and lovely and….

Jang Hyunseung: A little obvious.

Man’s voice: Physical love.

Man’s voice: Shared love.

Woman’s voice: First place has gotten very high.**

Woman: Hey, BLEEP. Are you really going to kiss?

Hoya: We’re both going to kiss as well?

Zico: When we come to cheer, we jinx it.

**This one’s tough, because 수위가 can mean “first place” or “water level.” So, I’m assuming the person is saying that first place has gotten really competitive, but this could be an expression along the lines of “We’re in deep!”–I don’t know Korean well enough to know for sure.

A little explanation for the slow about how “Hit the Stage” voting works

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OK, I know I should ignore The K-Pop Stupid out there, but here’s a little primer on the way Hit the Stage voting works for the benefit of some of the dumber NCT fans.

You may be looking at two YouTube videos and deciding that you really, really want to fuck Ten that Ten’s solo dance was technically more challenging than U-Kwon’s.

I’m not sure why we’re not judging the choreography or performance as a whole (other than some people really, really want to fuck Ten), but you know, let’s pretend that this is a some kind of solo flexibility competition, which is why absolutely no one used backup dancers, costumes, music, or stage effects.

Anyway: The point is, you have to look at the way the voting operates in Hit the Stage, which, by the way, is exactly how it operates in Immortal Song 2. These two performances were not judged head-to-head–that simply didn’t happen.

What happened is that Ten performed, and received a score. Then Bora performed, and received a score. Then Momo performed, and received a score. Then U-Kwon performed, and received a score.

Again, this is exactly how Immortal Song 2 operates. You want to know something about that show?

The person who goes first never wins! 

And everybody knows it! That’s why no one wanted to go first, and why Bora apologized to Ten for putting him first.

Why doesn’t the first person ever win? Because people are not being given a ballot where they have to pick one performer to vote for–they’re just voting away at each performance using their little clickers. It’s basically a quieter version of the Clap-o-meter.

Maybe the audience thinks in a comparative fashion at the outset: Hm, Bora was pretty good but not as good as that Ten fellow! I won’t click for her. But very quickly they forget how much they voted for the first act, and they clickclickclick their little voting devices whenever something exciting–like a human motorcycle or a falling tower of people–happens.

Acting like a show that uses a Clap-o-meter should be held to the same standards as a presidential election or something, and crying voter fraud! because your precious, precious Ten (who is never, ever going to fuck you, you need to come to terms with that now) lost by four votes is just incredibly stupid and pathetic.

And I won’t even get into the people who are calling [pick one! Bora or Momo] a whore, because [Bora/Momo’s] dance was slutty and awful, while in contrast, [Bora/Momo’s] dance was a work of high art, unsullied by filthy female sexuality.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised given that people managed to be assholes about a freakin’ 1-minute-and-48-second previewBut honestly: Hit the Stage is a fun show, and everyone on it is very talented! Try not to ruin it for those of us who aren’t bitter and crazy, OK?